Someone's got to pay the price
by Sandra S
Summary: The aftermath of 'Need to Know' this time Webb's POV


Disclaimer: JAG belongs to DPB, Paramount, CBS et al. This is for fun, no copyright infringement is intended.  
  
Author's note: Just a little 'stand-alone' fic I wrote a few months ago. Set after 'Need to Know' - the rest of season 8 isn't a factor of any kind.  
  
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I really did it this time, didn't I? I overstepped the line I should not cross. Oh, I had a good reason. Not for the greater good, but to bring peace into the souls of a few families.  
  
You're quite good with words, Harm, do you know that? Of course you do. You're a lawyer. Too good with words - you hit my soft spot just right, maybe without knowing. Damn it, you're not the only one who lost his father. Not the only one who always wanted to know the truth. But I'm not you. I can't run off and search for him; I can't risk asking right away the people around me what happened to him. I know better than that. It's my business, remember? I don't want to hear lies.  
  
Now those families know the truth. They got answers to their questions. They know how their husbands, fathers, sons died and they at least got a formal burial at sea. Peace for their souls indeed.  
  
Perhaps that's worth the price.  
  
Suriname. Damn it, of all countries in the world it has to be Suriname in South America. I hate assignments in Middle or South America. It seems they always run out of control. Columbia was bad. Guatemala was worse. But that's another story. I don't want to think about Guatemala.  
  
You know what's the worst thing in this whole mess, Harm? The worst thing is I could not blame you for it because I brought it upon me by myself. You pushed my button but I had the choice, I could have stayed away. I didn't. I pulled some stunts over the years and got away with them but this time it was a direct order. I knew the consequences. But what can I say? Something in me believed in my luck. I took a lot of flak for bringing Sergei into the States. I never told you that, did I? You ever thought about it? I don't know for sure.  
  
Did you ever realize how close I was acting at the border every time you or the others came to me for help? And don't tell me I had my fair share of bringing you into danger. When I came to JAG for help I came in official order. If things went south you were in danger of losing your live but not your job - normally.  
  
Every time you came to me I gave you my help because of my own decision - and at my own risk. Remember when the plane with you and Mac on board was hijacked? I *told* the Admiral he should not reveal where the information came from that saved your lives in the end. Of course he told the SecNav. Hell, I thought my boss would rip my head off after he had heard of it. And did you ever give me a simple 'thank you' for it? I don't think so.  
  
You're stinging words during the incident with the female Marine are still in my head. You blamed me for what happened to her. You blamed me for her death. What choice did I have? Did you come up with a better plan? No! But that's the way you are. Your world is black or white, right or wrong. And especially you are always on the right side.  
  
That last comment wasn't fair, huh? Oh, God - I'm wailing like a baby. And you were right this time. Giving you that tape was right. I still can't believe I had to buy you the equipment to watch it. Mister Tomcat-pilot.  
  
I'm just thinking of a funny thing: Half of the injuries I got in the line of duty I got from the JAG staff. You - punching me in the stomach. The Admiral - breaking my nose. The Gunny - almost breaking my jaw. Who needs enemies with friends like that? I'm just glad Mac never tried to hit me. Especially after I saw her in action in Afghanistan. Oh, and don't forget Roberts nearly blinding me. Searching for satellites. I still could kick myself for being so stupid. O. K. I was tired, absent minded and ... stupid.  
  
Why am I always making a fool out of myself when you guys are around? I don't like that! I don't like admitting my mistakes too but I stand up for the consequences. I do now.  
  
I've worked hard to become Deputy Director. Now I'm going to work even harder. I'm going to fight for my career. I know it won't be easy. My boss was *really* not happy. For a moment I thought he would throw me out completely. Scary feeling, believe me! But I won't give up.  
  
Well then, Surinam here I come. There's no way you can stop a Webb.  
  
The End 


End file.
